Sunday, December 7, 2014

A Few Tips in Theatre Etiquette for the Inconsiderate Morons Out There

1. Have your tickets and group ready as not to hold up the queue. Duh!

2. Sit your asses down on time that's 10 minutes before the show starts. Yes 4.30PM means when show starts - not still parking your car, nonchalantly walk to the gate and disrupt hundreds of people with your late entry - you crass imbecile.

3. If you can't have your child sit quietly for a show then don't bring them. A parenting course might help.

4. Switch off your damn mobiles, that means enjoy the show, live in the present stop taking pics and videos missing half the show so you can post all over your social media to 'pretend' you are having a great time. How can you be having a great time if you missed half of it. Watch the blinking show! Your bright screens are very annoying and the flashes disturb the cast members. You are inconsiderate, rude and pathetic!

5. Have your kids use the bathroom before the show or wait until intermission. I know that some of you are not used to taking care of your own child so this might be a new thing for you.

6. Stop your idle, inane, unwelcome chit-chat for after the show. If only I'd had a cattle prod.

7. Do NOT bring babies to a theatre production. What kind of idiot are you?

Did I miss anything?

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