What is the best way to get rid of anger on the spot? After I've been angry I usually go back and ask myself why I was angry, why did that hurt me, etc., to release those reasons. But do you know of ways to prevent on-the-spot anger? (Yes, occasionally I have Pitta tendencies - could you tell?
First of all you need to recognize the anger response in yourself before you express it in words or behavior to others. Here’s a formula I give in my book Superbrain that you can use over and over again to override that anger-instinctive-reaction
S. Stands for stop, just stop, hold on, wait a minute.
T. Stands for take three deep breath and then smile. Feel your whole body smile.
O. Stands for observe what’s happening inside of you. The anger probably doesn’t feel very good. But you have to observe it to know that. Acknowledge how it feels.
P. Stands for proceed with awareness and kindness.
Try to make this a habit every time you feel your instinctive anger response trying to get the better of you and make you irritated. It will work wonders. After a while you will have retrained yourself not to react angrily, but with awareness.
LWDLIK - When I lived in NYC I found myself becoming as rude as the locals can be. Yes, most definitely New Yorkers are the rudest - seems even the cab drivers, who barely speak English, learn all the expletives first. It was exhausting because no matter how trivial the interaction if you participate, it seems, for the whole day and perhaps the next you have it on your mind. The anger, self-doubt and endless 'if I had said this or that' stays with you. I made a conscience decision to not interact. Don't get me wrong I was a master, they didn't call me the English pit bull for nothing. I was loud, articulate and nasty (when needed of course) but is it ever needed or necessary? No, it's not I have learned from my dear Indians friends that actually not reacting to situations is far easier. Within minutes you're over whatever stupidity has ensued and you have moved on with your day. The perp is not going to change an iota after my tongue lashing so what's the point. But I, on the other hand, will be tense and annoyed for the whole day... Oh no I won't because I'm all grown up now and I can walk away and have a great day.